I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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