I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
dude. I can hear the air.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
