i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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