On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
