she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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