she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So vagazzling was a success
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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