dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You did what with his pubic hair?
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