Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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