remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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