She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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