Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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