white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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