she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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