everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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