it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
someone owes me an orgasm
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
