Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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