Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
