now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
