you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
