hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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