i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He did a backflip because drugs
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
