Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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