Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
