You made me cry and you don't even care
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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