I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
it's like iHOP with fire
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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