she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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