The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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