hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Randomize
