The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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