We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
