Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
