she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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