i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
