But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
