he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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