Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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