Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
