i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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