Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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