i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
