its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Houston, we have a blender
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
