Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I fill condoms, not promises.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
