Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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