Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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