my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize