the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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