so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i love accidental penises.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
