i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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