I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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