Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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