he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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