I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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