Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
