her facebook's as public as her vagina
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize