I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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