and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
