my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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