i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
